Serving until it hurts

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I have been thinking about service lately. I think that sometimes I get in my head that service should give me something, some kind of high or some kind of deep down feeling of satisfaction. When I say it out loud is sounds completely ridiculous and totally self serving, which it is. I think I forget that serving costs something and ultimately if it takes my mind off of me and my needs that is a really good thing.
I have been reading through the Gospels recently and I have been struck over and over again by the way that Jesus served others. He served with patience and without expectation. I think if I am truly honest my service doesn’t look like that at all. I always expect something, even if it isn’t tangible. I expect a good feeling or a good attitude or some gratitude from the people I’m serving and the truth is that it’s not about what I get.
I am positive it will be a hard thing to break myself of this pattern and these motives but most of the tasks in life that are truly rewarding and worth undertaking are also hard.

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