Sometimes Staying is Hard

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Change is hard. Moving, leaving behind the familiar in exchange for the unfamiliar, is daunting to say the least. Taking a new position can be scary. It requires you to learn a whole new system, build new relationships, take on new challenges. Often the first few weeks feel incredibly disorienting. Change is hard.
Change has its upsides too though. It is a new adventure. It is the opportunity to start fresh, to recreate your circumstances. Sometimes change can show you strengths you never knew you had. Forging a new path can bring excitement and revitalize you.
I have some friends who had major life changes recently, including two new jobs and a move. I gained a new perspective through my experience of traveling this journey with them: sometimes staying is hard.
A few months ago it looked like we might move to a new job and a new church. My husband was in the interview process and it looked like he was going to get a job offer. I was ecstatic. I had felt like my heart had disengaged at church (can I say that? I’m a youth pastors wife!) and this change promised to be the jump start my heart needed. I was excited about new opportunities, new surroundings, and even new challenges (okay new challenges sounds ridiculous when you say it out loud…). Needless to say some circumstances changed and the job opportunity fell through. I was left to go back. Back to where we were, back to the same, back to what felt like a prison to me.
A few months later a few of my friends, also in full time ministry, had the chance to move on to something new. I was happy and excited for them, but to be honest, a little jealous (okay there were days where I was A LOT jealous, okay it was more than a few days…). I wanted change, I wanted something new, something to revitalize me, something exciting to tackle, but the answer was no, stay.
I find myself after they have moved on still here, same place, same challenges, same routine. There is hope. God has been gracious in providing me new perspective, the hints of changes to come and the possibility of opportunity. I am so thankful for that, but I still have days where I feel frustrated, because sometimes staying is hard.

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